Personal Success, Seizures, Depression And Suicide :: essays research papers

Before the age of 15, I was as sound as anyone could wish to be. In my sophomore year of high school, though, my seizures began. cryptograph knew what they were at first they looked as if I was passing out. These episodes as my mum and I were c onlying them, were finally defined as seizures when a bind at the hospital saw that during one of my episodes I would clench my gibber shut and my muscles would tighten and shake.Doctors put me on three different medications oer the next few years. The first , Dilanton, did nothing for me. The second, Tegratoal, was killing my colour extraction cells which made me extremely sick. The third , Depekot, worked, but with it came some nasty align affects, and I was still having seizures two to three times a week. I became depressed after a year of having seizures and being told by some(prenominal) doctors that they didnt know what was causing it. The doctors also didnt know how to plough it.I missed a circumstances of school my sophomore and secondary year, which was why my grades werent what I wanted them to be. My teachers harped at me about not getting my work done. They didnt understand. I also got a lot of strange looks from people when I walked down the hall. Most of my seizures happened during school. I coffin nailt be positive about when my depression began to reach a climax. Maybe it was when my ma and her boyfriend would yell and scream at each other about how they were going to pay for all the hospital expenses. Or maybe it was all those nights lying in bed listening to my mom cry. Whatever the reason(s), I developed the mindset that I was causing my family all this pain, that it was my fault, I would never get into college, so it would be best if I wasnt around anymore. I felt other no emotion boot out sadness. I felt as if I were walking in a different dimension. I could see and hear people, but nothing anyone state made any difference to me. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. The world no longer ha d any color in it it was all black and white this is what I saw.I thought about how much better intent would be for everyone if I were gone.